These pics are Me the day of My Aunt Judy's funeral and Clint playing the 360 with the kids.
I guess I'm just confused right now about my relationship with Clint. We have been together for about 2 years now and all of a sudden he is becoming distant and acting like everything I say to him is wrong or just a major annoyance. Why can't he just tell me that I'm bugging him?
The other day I was trying to watch a movie that I have on my computer and I just happened to glance over and notice the email he was sending to some other female (that isn't a family member to either of us) and in it he said "I sent you some dirty pics of me". Instantly I was pissed off and I shut off my movie got up from the desk and started cleaning (again since it had already all been done earlier) and that didn't help any I was so pissed I had to leave the house. He doesn't know I saw the email or what it said as he wasn't paying any attention to me at all (I guess he figured I was so involved in the movie I wouldn't notice ?). The day before that incident he woke up in a bad mood and was taking it out on everyone. I had been after Blaid all morning to do his work (which is normal), Clint had only been up for an hour at that time, and he got after Blaid to get it done, which is no big deal he is Dad to my kids I don't worry about him getting after them ever, but then all of a sudden it was "Fuck this shit! I'm outta here!" I was confused. I didn't know what had happened as no one said a word to him about it and Blaid was finally getting his work done without a problem. So what do I do? I ask him, as he's grabbing his keys, "where are you going baby?" and all he said was "Outside" and he left. about 20 minutes later I decided I was going to check on him to make sure he was OK and his car was gone and so was he. So now I'm pissed. He never leaves like that and there was nothing to provoke him to leave like that. He was gone for 6 hours no word no nothing. then when he came home he acted like nothing had ever happened and everything was normal. What the hell is that when guys do that? So after I got over my little snit fit I asked him what was going on and he told me I was always up his ass about something. WHAT??? I give him just as much space as he gives me I stay out of the way most of the time and I don't nag at him about these "mysterious Emails" so how am I up his ass? For 2 years I have treated him the same and never before was I up his ass so now I'm confused. What is going on here that I'm not seeing?
For 2 years I have cooked his meals for him, gotten him refills on his drinks, rubbed his feet when they hurt left him be when he was IMing females that I could plainly see where hitting on him in chat, didn't say anything other than "I'm gonna kick that Bitches ass if she hits on you one more time while I'm sitting right her next to you", let it go when he would get INSANELY jealous over someone on World of Warcraft ( its an online game) who would flirt with me and he'd jump all over their ass and challenge them in PVP (No I do not instigate it any way. I am not one of those females that has to have constant attention or has to start fights to prove my man cares for me, I leave that up to my cousins back in Philly). I know that serving him his meals, doing his laundry for him, folding it and putting it away for him, and rubbing his feet for him is a 1950's type of woman thing, but that is what i choose to do for him. I am not subservient in that way because I do make him ask for it and when he expects it from me without a please or a thank you I make him give it before he gets it. I do not bow down to him that's not me But I do those things for him because it IS a form of respect. I never did these things for my Ex-Husband because I didn't respect him in any way I do however Respect Clint. Clint since he has been here has treated me with respect, spoiled the hell out of me and my kids, taken up the responsibility that my exes never will, and at the same time doesn't let me get away with the things he knows would be bad for us. So Why would things all of a sudden change like they have?
When Clint first got here I didn't cater to him like I do now. We were just starting out in our relationship and we had to find what was comfortable for us. Once we got that all figured out, we made some adjustments to our form of respect for each other. We rarely ever fight or argue, in fact we have only had maybe 2 or 3 major arguments. For me to be as good of a person as I am with him is amazing I have many destructive traits (aside from drugs I never did like them so don't do them and won't do them, I watched my Father die because of them but that's for another Blog) so I really don't want to loose what we have with each other. Neither of us is looking for marriage we are both content to "live in sin", neither of us has ever been a cheater in the past, and we get along better than most couples.
As far as sex goes, I love sex, I'm what some would call a borderline nympho but I remain loyal to anyone I am involved with, I don't go looking for it anywhere and every where that's not in my nature or my personality, Clint is a typical man when it comes to sex he enjoys sex just like any other man, but he doesn't HAVE sex all that often. We have gone for 3 months at a time before we have sex (and that has been the longest we have gone without until now) so no one can say I'm with him for the sex either because its not that. I never complain to him about the lack of sex because I understand where he is coming from, we have talked about it before but only because he brought up the subject not me. But here it is it is going on 4 months since the last time we have had sex and I am beginning to have my doubts, and then I see that condemning email that he sent off. Normally I would have just jumped up and hit him right in the nose as hard as I could and told him to get lost, but I want to try to work this all out with him. What is getting me though is all of it put together in my mind says "it's over don't fight it" and I am trying to deny that it is because of the whole "but what if it isn't?" thoughts.
I had gotten and IM yesterday from someone I had talked to online since before I met Clint but hadn't heard from in almost a year which I didn't see anything wrong with it until the guy asked me what color panties I was wearing (come to find out he had been out of the country with the navy for the last year and he didn't know me and Clint were still together), and Clint got pissed when he saw what the guy had written. He wrote down the guys address and started writing to him himself while I was in the other room dealing with the kids. So to me that says he does care for me still but all the other things are still in the back of my mind and they are still bugging me. What do I think, what do I do, what do I say??? I can't tell him what to do or who to talk to that's not me. But it does piss me off when he can flirt, chat, and send "dirty Pics" to women but when someone asks me a stupid question like "so what color panties do you have on right now?" its not right. He never has told me I couldn't talk to someone but he has said to put a stop to it or he will. So how can I not be confused?
Any input would be nice and any comments are welcome but please keep it clean and don't get all nasty about it I will delete anything that is hateful.
Mandi
These pics are Me the day of My Aunt Judy's funeral and Clint playing the 360 with the kids.
I guess I'm just confused right now about my relationship with Clint. We have been together for about 2 years now and all of a sudden he is becoming distant and acting like everything I say to him is wrong or just a major annoyance. Why can't he just tell me that I'm bugging him?
The other day I was trying to watch a movie that I have on my computer and I just happened to glance over and notice the email he was sending to some other female (that isn't a family member to either of us) and in it he said "I sent you some dirty pics of me". Instantly I was pissed off and I shut off my movie got up from the desk and started cleaning (again since it had already all been done earlier) and that didn't help any I was so pissed I had to leave the house. He doesn't know I saw the email or what it said as he wasn't paying any attention to me at all (I guess he figured I was so involved in the movie I wouldn't notice ?). The day before that incident he woke up in a bad mood and was taking it out on everyone. I had been after Blaid all morning to do his work (which is normal), Clint had only been up for an hour at that time, and he got after Blaid to get it done, which is no big deal he is Dad to my kids I don't worry about him getting after them ever, but then all of a sudden it was "Fuck this shit! I'm outta here!" I was confused. I didn't know what had happened as no one said a word to him about it and Blaid was finally getting his work done without a problem. So what do I do? I ask him, as he's grabbing his keys, "where are you going baby?" and all he said was "Outside" and he left. about 20 minutes later I decided I was going to check on him to make sure he was OK and his car was gone and so was he. So now I'm pissed. He never leaves like that and there was nothing to provoke him to leave like that. He was gone for 6 hours no word no nothing. then when he came home he acted like nothing had ever happened and everything was normal. What the hell is that when guys do that? So after I got over my little snit fit I asked him what was going on and he told me I was always up his ass about something. WHAT??? I give him just as much space as he gives me I stay out of the way most of the time and I don't nag at him about these "mysterious Emails" so how am I up his ass? For 2 years I have treated him the same and never before was I up his ass so now I'm confused. What is going on here that I'm not seeing?
For 2 years I have cooked his meals for him, gotten him refills on his drinks, rubbed his feet when they hurt left him be when he was IMing females that I could plainly see where hitting on him in chat, didn't say anything other than "I'm gonna kick that Bitches ass if she hits on you one more time while I'm sitting right her next to you", let it go when he would get INSANELY jealous over someone on World of Warcraft ( its an online game) who would flirt with me and he'd jump all over their ass and challenge them in PVP (No I do not instigate it any way. I am not one of those females that has to have constant attention or has to start fights to prove my man cares for me, I leave that up to my cousins back in Philly). I know that serving him his meals, doing his laundry for him, folding it and putting it away for him, and rubbing his feet for him is a 1950's type of woman thing, but that is what i choose to do for him. I am not subservient in that way because I do make him ask for it and when he expects it from me without a please or a thank you I make him give it before he gets it. I do not bow down to him that's not me But I do those things for him because it IS a form of respect. I never did these things for my Ex-Husband because I didn't respect him in any way I do however Respect Clint. Clint since he has been here has treated me with respect, spoiled the hell out of me and my kids, taken up the responsibility that my exes never will, and at the same time doesn't let me get away with the things he knows would be bad for us. So Why would things all of a sudden change like they have?
When Clint first got here I didn't cater to him like I do now. We were just starting out in our relationship and we had to find what was comfortable for us. Once we got that all figured out, we made some adjustments to our form of respect for each other. We rarely ever fight or argue, in fact we have only had maybe 2 or 3 major arguments. For me to be as good of a person as I am with him is amazing I have many destructive traits (aside from drugs I never did like them so don't do them and won't do them, I watched my Father die because of them but that's for another Blog) so I really don't want to loose what we have with each other. Neither of us is looking for marriage we are both content to "live in sin", neither of us has ever been a cheater in the past, and we get along better than most couples.
As far as sex goes, I love sex, I'm what some would call a borderline nympho but I remain loyal to anyone I am involved with, I don't go looking for it anywhere and every where that's not in my nature or my personality, Clint is a typical man when it comes to sex he enjoys sex just like any other man, but he doesn't HAVE sex all that often. We have gone for 3 months at a time before we have sex (and that has been the longest we have gone without until now) so no one can say I'm with him for the sex either because its not that. I never complain to him about the lack of sex because I understand where he is coming from, we have talked about it before but only because he brought up the subject not me. But here it is it is going on 4 months since the last time we have had sex and I am beginning to have my doubts, and then I see that condemning email that he sent off. Normally I would have just jumped up and hit him right in the nose as hard as I could and told him to get lost, but I want to try to work this all out with him. What is getting me though is all of it put together in my mind says "it's over don't fight it" and I am trying to deny that it is because of the whole "but what if it isn't?" thoughts.
I had gotten and IM yesterday from someone I had talked to online since before I met Clint but hadn't heard from in almost a year which I didn't see anything wrong with it until the guy asked me what color panties I was wearing (come to find out he had been out of the country with the navy for the last year and he didn't know me and Clint were still together), and Clint got pissed when he saw what the guy had written. He wrote down the guys address and started writing to him himself while I was in the other room dealing with the kids. So to me that says he does care for me still but all the other things are still in the back of my mind and they are still bugging me. What do I think, what do I do, what do I say??? I can't tell him what to do or who to talk to that's not me. But it does piss me off when he can flirt, chat, and send "dirty Pics" to women but when someone asks me a stupid question like "so what color panties do you have on right now?" its not right. He never has told me I couldn't talk to someone but he has said to put a stop to it or he will. So how can I not be confused?
Any input would be nice and any comments are welcome but please keep it clean and don't get all nasty about it I will delete anything that is hateful.
Mandi
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